A Boat in Calm
by Aifsaath
Summary: Five years have passed since the war. The fairytale ended. But people change. Uzumaki Hinata is no exception. / Post-war, NaruHina/Kankuhina


A Boat in Calm

It was Sunday September. A kettle whistling in the kitchen. Four o'clock. She removed the kettle, turned off the stove, fumbled for a cup in a dresser. A green one with flowers. Three spoons of coffee, hot water, no sugar. She took the cup and went to the balcony. She leaned on the railing, sipping. Bitter taste of black coffee in her mouth. It was windy up here. She should go back for a sweater. She drunk again. Burning hot.

Lone and alone in a house where she and Naruto had lived since their mad wedding. How many years – five years, Hinata said to herself. The war had just ended, they had been seventeen at the time, barely more. Will you marry me, he asked her then at the victory celebration, flowers and ruins everywhere. Oh, yes, yes, _yes_, she thrown herself on him, and he held her so tightly. She felt as if she would melt with a joy that he _loved her, _and within two weeks they shared a marital bed_._

He was coming back tomorrow or a day after. Until his arrival she would just withstand being alone between her work and bed. Even when him not travelling, they saw each other very little during days. In the evenings they mumbled hardly a few words to each other before leaving for bedroom, too worn out to care; in the mornings she got up first and she had not the heart to wake him. Of course, Hinata understood his workload. Tsunade planned to resign from her post, and everyone knew whom she was planning to name her successor. Naruto was taking over more and more of the duties. "Finally, I'm gonna be a Hokage," her husband had said the other day and kissed her on her cheek. Hinata swallowed another sip and looked at the administration building and the rock with carved faces above. She imagined _his_ face sculpted into the stone.

_He deserves it._ After all, he deserved the very best only.

She sighed. Bitterness biting on her tongue, her body numb with the cold wind. She slipped back inside, closed the door with a silent 'clack'. Tomorrow or a day after he would come to her, kissing her on cheeks or lips – sometimes he was so laughingly awkward. He would tell her a few silly jokes, they would dine – Ramen, Hina! - and then have sex. In the morning he would want to make up for the lost time, so he would get up from bed early, and eat breakfast with her. He would clumsily try to compliment her. They would laugh heartily at his attempt, and see each other not until late evening.

Their marriage went by in a calm and steady pace that many women longed for. - She was so proud of him, of Naruto. She wanted his dreams to become true; she had wanted it since their childhood. He had been always so eager to achieve his goals. She lacked it.

Sometimes she just wondered why a man like him loved _her_, and more, _marry_ her. It had to do something with the euphoria of the mere fact that they had _survived._ Neither he or she had been thinking in that moment. She was just glad and thankful for him liking and wanting her. What he thought, she did not know.

He resembled a flame, she mused. It lurked still in him. Five years is not long enough time for a man to lose his temperament.

Later that day, when she went to the bed, she dreamt of a sea. She and Naruto were sailing a boat. A tall mast. White sails. Sun. A strong wind blowing to her face – and then it suddenly ceased. Trapped in a calm, amidst the sea, far away from the coast. Waking up in the morning, she still heard seagulls cry. She smiled to herself. Seeing a sea.

She got up, went to the bathroom, braided her hair. An unfamiliar pale face gazed at her from a mirror. Ever since she stopped cutting her fringe Naruto complained she looked strange. She had to agree. The childish chubbiness of her face had vanished long time ago. She herself could not relate to the reflection in the mirror any more.

Short time after, Hinata left the house. She headed for the administration building. Ever since the peace declaration the hidden villages reduced their activities to keeping order and diplomacy with foreign countries. Very few years had passed since the war, which had brought the end to all wars. And its symbol, her husband, had managed the unthinkable: he made them to let go the old wrongs and keep the new agreements. For now, at least.

Hinata worked as a translator. She had a talent for languages. She imitated foreign accents with an ease astonishing her friends. Now she could use it. Back then – back then it was impossible.

Her office was located in the first floor. Finding Sakura there surprised her. She had never come to Hinata's office.

"Yuri let me in," Sakura explained her presence right away. "I need to talk with you."

"Can't it wait? I have a lot of a work here." The documents were already piling up on the desk.

"Come on. It'll take you only a five minutes."

"Fine... So, speak." Hinata sat behind the desk. "What happened?"

"Nothing happened. I just want to know if you and Naruto are throwing a party."

"Oh... I forgot about it." She had never forgotten before. "He didn't mention anything."

"Well, it's his birthday party. Why should _he_ mention anything?"

"I'm not sure he will have time. I'm glad I see him in the evening at least."

"He will just take a day off. Even Tsunade isn't tyrant enough to keep him at work on his birthday."

"I guess you're right." Hinata reached for the paper on the top of the pile. "We haven't talked about it yet."

"I thought he's coming back today."

"Today or tomorrow. I haven't got any note from him."

"Mm, it'd be great, giving a surprise party."

"It's two weeks to his birthday." She took some blank papers from a drawer. "Isn't it too early to plan anything?"

"You said Naruto didn't have much time. This way we can make sure him having a day off."

"I'm not sure if he wants a big celebration..."

"Nonsense! Naruto loves parties." Sakura smiled. "Well, I won't keep you from your work any more. Patients are calling. Goodbye!" And at the door: "I'm telling Tsunade!"

That day, Hinata could not focus on work. Not remembering any words – she browsed trough the dictionary while taping the desk with a pen. _Naruto is coming._

How she would put up with the party, Hinata had no idea. (If only she could cancel it!) She did not even want to bother herself with it... She and Naruto spent every free minute with their friends. Nevertheless, Naruto looked for any excuse for more and more gatherings. He loved company, surrounded himself with those who survived, and she could do nothing but watch them laugh over common memories, sometimes sincerely, sometimes forcedly, always carefully avoiding any mention of those who had died. Too many names.

It was already getting dark when Hinata left the office. She saw the lights in the windows of the living room. So he was not staying in Suna. She would probably find him with a smoking bowl of ramen. She recalled the smell of the soup, and she gagged. Hinata sat on the near bench hugging herself.

_Their marriage went by in a calm and steady pace that many women longed for. _Her husband, her childhood sweetheart, loved her oh so gently. He gave her space she needed. He joked with her in that puppy mannerism of him. He adored her. _He saved her so many times._

Still, she could not _name_ what had been growing in her for months. What was eating her from inside whenever Hinata thought about _him_.

Half an hour passed when she raised on her feet, and slowly walked home. Cold dusk of late September. She rattled with the keys in the lock to announce her arrival. She entered the darkened passage, took her jacket off, hung it up. Naruto's coat was lying on the floor. She put it away as well. Then she headed for the living room where she knew she would find him.

"Hi, Hina!"

"Hello."

The odour of ramen filled the room heavily. She had not minded it before. Now, she was just resisting the urge to throw the damn bowl out from window. She sat on the sofa next to him, smiling. She watched him struggling with chopsticks. He slurped.

"How did you do?" he asked.

"It was quiet here without you."

"What about work?"

"As usual. You?"

"We almost froze to death on the desert! You wouldn't believe how fucking freezing the nights in Suna are. I had to sleep with two pants, it was unbearable." He placed the empty bowl on a table. "Oh, before I forget – Gaara says hi. Uhm, where were I? Yeah, me and Kiba went hunting. To desert. We didn't come across any fox, bird or anything like that. No. We run right into a fucking sandstorm! Imagine the frost and the damned sand everywhere! So we hid in a cave." He grinned. "Without food, water, and very, very cold."

"How did you make it?"

"Gaara sent a unit after us in the morning. The bastard _knew_ we'd get lost. When we finally got to Suna, he gave us one hell of a roasting. Mostly about why the hell we did think we would do well on desert... without a guide."

"You could have died."

"But Hin, nothing happened." He stroked her arm, kissed on cheeks. "Don't be afraid. We used to do far more idiotic things, and survived."

"You always rely on your luck," she sighed when his hand slipped under her shirt. "Not now."

"I haven't seen you for a _month."_

"Not now and definitely not here." She rose, and touched his shoulder before she went to the bathroom. She locked.

She showered in haste. There were things you could not postpone. She remembered their first time together. The awkward, clumsy moves. His sharp elbows hitting her, not on purpose. "Sorry," Naruto had whispered in the dark, pulling her hair out of his mouth for the fifth time. "Too long." She wanted to cut it short again but Naruto liked it.

"I'm waiting," she told him on her way to bedroom. He did not need to be told twice.

When he came to her she was already lying on the bed.

He turned the lights off. Slid behind her under the blanket. Kissed her yet wet hair, caressed her bare back, and held her closer.

"Hina?"

She turned to him. His face seemed older in the dark. She felt his features with tips of her fingers, his shoulders, hips and groin. He_ wanted _her_._ She pressed herself against _him, _and fondled him – slowly and cruelly until he shivered under her touches as if he were feverish. He sunk his nails into her thighs, kissed her on lips and breasts, and moaned softly when he entered her.

She closed her eyes. Red darkness all around her, his breath tingling on her skin. She tilted her head backwards when she reached the edge, and, in the sudden, warm spasm, she bit the soft flesh of his shoulder.

He stopped.

"Does it hurt?"

"No, no, no..." She wrapped her arms around his neck. _"Go on."_

After the lovemaking he was gentle. He snuggled to her (_and Hinata was lost in the heat of his body) _and whispered nonsenses for a while until thy both dozed off.

Tomorrow, they found themselves on the opposite sides of the bed. As always.

She got up first. Naruto watched her putting on clothes. She tried to recall when she had stopped being shy around him. Being naked in front of him – it used to be _unthinkable._

"Don't go."

"I can't be late, Naruto."

"Are you really that eager to get to the office?" he grinned. "My beloved wife prefers pens and pencils over me. Or do you like the bloody boring papers that Tsunade wants you to translate? How nice of you, Hinata. I'm now envying that damn desk of yours..." He sat. "Would you pass me those pants?"

Some time later, Hinata went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. Naruto showed up make tea. Hinata placed a trail with scrambled eggs on the table. Then they started eating in silence.

"Have I told you what's Tsunade up to?" Naruto spoke after a while.

"You haven't mentioned anything."

"Guess."

"I don't know."

"You're not trying!"

"Is she planing to open a new market?"

"No."

"Theatre?"

"No. Try again."

"I'm in _hurry,_ Naruto."

"She's naming me officially her successor next week."

"Oh."

"You don't look very surprised."

"I'm glad she's naming you... finally."

"It took her pretty long, didn't it?"

"Yes, it did."

She smiled. He had not changed at all. She saw his younger self again, the boy with messy hair, light blue eyes and stubborn face. _"I will be hokage!"_ And he was right. He walked in front of her, bright as the sun, blinding, and she bent in his shadow, mute with adulation and gratitude, tired, disillusioned by her once naivety, and disgusted with herself.

"I have to go."

"You didn't eat anything!"

"I've got a lot of work. Tsunade won't wait."

She did not wait for his answer. She run out with her jacket thrown over her arm. Even though she had half an our left, she hurried to her office as never before. She stormed in, threw the jacket over the armchair. She sat behind the desk.

The unfinished translation from yesterday lay before her like a rebuke. She wondered what would happen if she ripped the paper into pieces, and set it on fire. Tsunade needed it until this afternoon.

So, Hinata forced herself into reading the text. The wall clock ticking. Outside the building, children played. She glanced at the window. The weather was nice. She yawned.

She regretted that she had left home without a single 'Bye'. (She should.) Naruto once said that her sudden mood changes confused him. _I can't make anything of you, _he laughed, looking like a lost puppy. Somehow, she felt guilty.

She was trying to read, but the clock made too much noise. She tapped the desk with the pen, counting to hundred. She _needed_ to focus, but, her thoughts still dwelt at the morning talk. Why, she did not know.

Afternoon, she finished. Tsunade was going to be mad. Reluctant, Hinata headed for hokage's office. Lately, she had been more irritable than before. Hinata knocked.

"Come in!"

"The translation – I have finished it."

"Thanks. Leave it there."

Hinata was at the door when Tsunade spoke again. "Have Naruto told you the news?"

"Of course."

"You must be so proud of him."

"I am."

"Did he mention that we're holding a reception on that occasion, and that foreign guests are coming?"

"Oh... He forgot."

"Typical." Tsunade sighed. "I need someone to organize the reception. Everyone is buried in work. I know -" Tsunade stopped her before she could protest. "I know that you are overworked too, but can't you do that for Naruto, please?"

"Sure." Nod. Smile. "May I leave now?"


End file.
